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Model Essay 5
Topic: The most crucial decisions in life call upon us to choose not between "good and bad" but between "good and good".
Model Essay 5
Decision-making is perhaps the most important aspect of our lives. We keep making decisions all the time; some of them may turn out to be great for us while some may not. No matter what the outcome is, it is these decisions that contribute to making us what we are.
When it comes to making decisions, it is not as much about choosing between the “good and the bad” as it is about choosing between the “good and the good”. Deciding between two good choices is more difficult than deciding between a good choice and a bad one. Isn't it easy to choose between a good apple and a bad apple than between two good apples?
Consider the following example: You need to make a decision regarding the job that you will choose. You have the following choices:
(i) A job that is dynamic in nature but comes with a low salary,
(ii) A job that is mundane but provides a higher salary,
(iii) A job that will force you to indulge in unethical or illegal activities.
The last option would be the first one that you would eliminate, because you know it would be a bad decision if you chose it. Here, it is easy to rule out option (iii) because you know in advance that the outcome would turn out to be very negative in the long term. Now you are left with two other options, from which you have to decide on one. If you prioritized the criterion of the nature or the kind of job that you would like to do over the criterion of money, you would be more likely to go with option (i). If you prioritized the criterion of money over the criterion of the kind of job that you would like to do, then you would be more likely to go with option (ii).
We keep facing such situations every so often in our lives. We will have choices, both good ones and bad ones. But when it comes to making decisions, it is not as much about choosing between the good and the bad ones as it is about choosing between all the good options and it is these decisions that will shape the entirety of our lives.
Feedback and Comments:
Overall impression:
Mediocre.
Detailed feedback:
There is one idea stated in the first para. An example is provided in the third para and the idea is stated again in the conclusion. There isn't much by way of elaboration.
This indicates limited thinking on the part of the essayist. Some important aspects have been left out of the discussion.
Evaluation parameters and score:
Model Essay 5
Decision-making is perhaps the most important aspect of our lives. We keep making decisions all the time; some of them may turn out to be great for us while some may not. No matter what the outcome is, it is these decisions that contribute to making us what we are.
When it comes to making decisions, it is not as much about choosing between the “good and the bad” as it is about choosing between the “good and the good”. Deciding between two good choices is more difficult than deciding between a good choice and a bad one. Isn't it easy to choose between a good apple and a bad apple than between two good apples?
Consider the following example: You need to make a decision regarding the job that you will choose. You have the following choices:
(i) A job that is dynamic in nature but comes with a low salary,
(ii) A job that is mundane but provides a higher salary,
(iii) A job that will force you to indulge in unethical or illegal activities.
The last option would be the first one that you would eliminate, because you know it would be a bad decision if you chose it. Here, it is easy to rule out option (iii) because you know in advance that the outcome would turn out to be very negative in the long term. Now you are left with two other options, from which you have to decide on one. If you prioritized the criterion of the nature or the kind of job that you would like to do over the criterion of money, you would be more likely to go with option (i). If you prioritized the criterion of money over the criterion of the kind of job that you would like to do, then you would be more likely to go with option (ii).
We keep facing such situations every so often in our lives. We will have choices, both good ones and bad ones. But when it comes to making decisions, it is not as much about choosing between the good and the bad ones as it is about choosing between all the good options and it is these decisions that will shape the entirety of our lives.
Feedback and Comments:
Overall impression:
Mediocre.
Detailed feedback:
There is one idea stated in the first para. An example is provided in the third para and the idea is stated again in the conclusion. There isn't much by way of elaboration.
This indicates limited thinking on the part of the essayist. Some important aspects have been left out of the discussion.
Evaluation parameters and score:
| PARAMETERS | DETAILS | POINTS ON 10 | WEIGHTAGE | TOTAL |
| 1) Content | Adequacy of information | 5 | X 2 | 10 |
| 2) Ideas and their development | Elaboration through reasoning, explanation, examples | 4 | X 3 | 12 |
| 3) Perspective | Pros and cons, different aspects, parallel reasoning, suggestions | 5 | X 1 | 5 |
| 4) Structure | Logical idea-flow in Intro-Body-Conclusion form | 5 | X 2 | 10 |
| 5) Control over language | Grammar and spellings, sentence construction and punctuation | 9 | X 2 | 18 |
| OVERALL | 55 |