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Model Essay 4
Topic: The most crucial decisions in life call upon us to choose not between "good and bad" but between "good and good".
Model Essay 4
“To be, or not to be” is the opening phrase of a soliloquy spoken by Prince Hamlet in the “nunnery scene” of William Shakespeare's play Hamlet. Decisions are what make our life move forward. They are like the wheels of a bus which have to keep turning in order for us to go ahead in life. However, wrong decisions taken by us can be likened to the ivy which twists around and entwines our lives making us prisoners during those times when we have failed to identify the right measurement on which we need to evaluate the available options.
Decisions are generally made keeping in mind past experiences and future predictions. Making decisions on a well-informed basis is an essential part of day-to-day living. We base our serious decisions on the knowledge and wisdom we have gained from personal experience, education and from advice of our near and dear ones.
Sometime we choose from “good versus bad” options. Choosing the better option by eliminating the bad one is the easiest way of deciding. A bad choice will paint the good choice in a better light. We don’t explore deeper or experiment with many variables when we have to decide between a “good” option and a “bad” option.
But I believe that the positive points of a “good” choice can be truly and microscopically analyzed only when there is another “good” choice in comparison. In this situation, it becomes difficult to make a choice as the mind is ambivalent for a long time. When both opportunities are going to benefit us, we try to introspect and select the best one. We take more risks and focus on the deeper shades of the parameters that help us select the best between the two seemingly “good” options. We predict every possible impact of one “good” choice versus the “other”. Our minds are bewildered when we are faced with two very close “good options” which are very nearly balanced in most of the parameters used in evaluating them. One then decides keeping a certain perspective in mind. One even compares the present decision making process with other decisions made in the past and then tries to improve the current one.
A person deciding between “good” and good” can be likened to a good watchmaker or a good cook who only want the finest and the best ingredients to be used. At crucial junctures of his life – when he has to make decisions about academic courses, jobs, marriage partners and then later, decisions on behalf of his children or grandchildren – a man is called upon to choose wisely between “good” and “good”. Making a choice between “good and good” will give a person deeper and lasting satisfaction.
Feedback and Comments:
Overall impression:
Above average (Between Average and Good).
Detailed feedback:
The language is good and the ideas that have been presented have been clearly expressed. However, the essay presents the issue as a dilemma that effective people resolve, but there is no discussion on how they do this.
Evaluation parameters and score:
Model Essay 4
“To be, or not to be” is the opening phrase of a soliloquy spoken by Prince Hamlet in the “nunnery scene” of William Shakespeare's play Hamlet. Decisions are what make our life move forward. They are like the wheels of a bus which have to keep turning in order for us to go ahead in life. However, wrong decisions taken by us can be likened to the ivy which twists around and entwines our lives making us prisoners during those times when we have failed to identify the right measurement on which we need to evaluate the available options.
Decisions are generally made keeping in mind past experiences and future predictions. Making decisions on a well-informed basis is an essential part of day-to-day living. We base our serious decisions on the knowledge and wisdom we have gained from personal experience, education and from advice of our near and dear ones.
Sometime we choose from “good versus bad” options. Choosing the better option by eliminating the bad one is the easiest way of deciding. A bad choice will paint the good choice in a better light. We don’t explore deeper or experiment with many variables when we have to decide between a “good” option and a “bad” option.
But I believe that the positive points of a “good” choice can be truly and microscopically analyzed only when there is another “good” choice in comparison. In this situation, it becomes difficult to make a choice as the mind is ambivalent for a long time. When both opportunities are going to benefit us, we try to introspect and select the best one. We take more risks and focus on the deeper shades of the parameters that help us select the best between the two seemingly “good” options. We predict every possible impact of one “good” choice versus the “other”. Our minds are bewildered when we are faced with two very close “good options” which are very nearly balanced in most of the parameters used in evaluating them. One then decides keeping a certain perspective in mind. One even compares the present decision making process with other decisions made in the past and then tries to improve the current one.
A person deciding between “good” and good” can be likened to a good watchmaker or a good cook who only want the finest and the best ingredients to be used. At crucial junctures of his life – when he has to make decisions about academic courses, jobs, marriage partners and then later, decisions on behalf of his children or grandchildren – a man is called upon to choose wisely between “good” and “good”. Making a choice between “good and good” will give a person deeper and lasting satisfaction.
Feedback and Comments:
Overall impression:
Above average (Between Average and Good).
Detailed feedback:
The language is good and the ideas that have been presented have been clearly expressed. However, the essay presents the issue as a dilemma that effective people resolve, but there is no discussion on how they do this.
Evaluation parameters and score:
| PARAMETERS | DETAILS | POINTS ON 10 | WEIGHTAGE | TOTAL |
| 1) Content | Adequacy of information | 6 | X 2 | 12 |
| 2) Ideas and their development | Elaboration through reasoning, explanation, examples | 7 | X 3 | 21 |
| 3) Perspective | Pros and cons, different aspects, parallel reasoning, suggestions | 4 | X 1 | 4 |
| 4) Structure | Logical idea-flow in Intro-Body-Conclusion form | 7 | X 2 | 14 |
| 5) Control over language | Grammar and spellings, sentence construction and punctuation | 9 | X 2 | 18 |
| OVERALL | 69 |