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Model Essay 1
Topic: The most crucial decisions in life call upon us to choose not between "good and bad" but between "good and good".
Model Essay 1
The first reaction to the words 'good' and 'bad' is to look at them from the point of view of ethics and morals. However, for the normal and right-thinking individual, group or organisation, the ethical 'good' is preferable to the ethical 'bad', and any decision, crucial or otherwise, is made with 'good' intent. In fact, even if we look at 'good' and 'bad' in the aspects of means or ends, the norm would be to choose the 'good' and not the 'bad'.
Looked at in these ways therefore, 'bad' is something we tend not to choose, in any case. So, in the aspects of ethics or means or ends, all normal decisions, crucial or not, are between choices that are 'good' and 'good', infact, between 'good' and 'better'.
It would be appropriate, therefore to look at the topic in the aspect of the quality of decisions made.
So, what's a decision? Looked at as a whole, it's a combination of the right objective selected from among possibilities, and the right steps (again, selected from among possibilites) that would achieve the objective in the most appropriate manner.
When you look at it in its construction, you realise that a decision has many components, and what makes it effective is diligence, at every phase.
The objective has to be chosen with care and should be feasible, should have a positive effect in itself when achieved, and should have either positive downstream impact or none at all.
The resources chosen should not only be available, accessible and affordable, they should also be appropriate, in quality and proficiency.
The steps planned should not only be productive, they should be efficient.
Careful thought must be exercised at every stage to ensure that all circumstances are considered, and all ground is covered, so that nothing unforeseen comes in the way of successful execution.
And crucial matters are those where proper execution and completion is imperative, especially because of the long-term and downstream impact of the execution. This is where the decision should be more than 'good'. It should be of a higher level – not just 'better' but 'the best possible' in the circumstances.
Feedback and Comments:
Overall impression:
Excellent.
Detailed feedback:
This essay is impressive. It has many interpretations and detailed analysis of the topic.
The essay is divided into many paragraphs which make easy reading.
The introduction paragraph defines terms and explains the scope. The rest of the paragraphs maintain a very good thought flow.
The fourth, fifth and sixth paragraphs of the essay offer detailed analysis about decision making.
The essay makes use of correct diction. There are no grammatical mistakes.
The essay could be improved by providing some examples which could have made the piece more practical in its outlook.
Evaluation parameters and score:
Model Essay 1
The first reaction to the words 'good' and 'bad' is to look at them from the point of view of ethics and morals. However, for the normal and right-thinking individual, group or organisation, the ethical 'good' is preferable to the ethical 'bad', and any decision, crucial or otherwise, is made with 'good' intent. In fact, even if we look at 'good' and 'bad' in the aspects of means or ends, the norm would be to choose the 'good' and not the 'bad'.
Looked at in these ways therefore, 'bad' is something we tend not to choose, in any case. So, in the aspects of ethics or means or ends, all normal decisions, crucial or not, are between choices that are 'good' and 'good', infact, between 'good' and 'better'.
It would be appropriate, therefore to look at the topic in the aspect of the quality of decisions made.
So, what's a decision? Looked at as a whole, it's a combination of the right objective selected from among possibilities, and the right steps (again, selected from among possibilites) that would achieve the objective in the most appropriate manner.
When you look at it in its construction, you realise that a decision has many components, and what makes it effective is diligence, at every phase.
The objective has to be chosen with care and should be feasible, should have a positive effect in itself when achieved, and should have either positive downstream impact or none at all.
The resources chosen should not only be available, accessible and affordable, they should also be appropriate, in quality and proficiency.
The steps planned should not only be productive, they should be efficient.
Careful thought must be exercised at every stage to ensure that all circumstances are considered, and all ground is covered, so that nothing unforeseen comes in the way of successful execution.
And crucial matters are those where proper execution and completion is imperative, especially because of the long-term and downstream impact of the execution. This is where the decision should be more than 'good'. It should be of a higher level – not just 'better' but 'the best possible' in the circumstances.
Feedback and Comments:
Overall impression:
Excellent.
Detailed feedback:
This essay is impressive. It has many interpretations and detailed analysis of the topic.
The essay is divided into many paragraphs which make easy reading.
The introduction paragraph defines terms and explains the scope. The rest of the paragraphs maintain a very good thought flow.
The fourth, fifth and sixth paragraphs of the essay offer detailed analysis about decision making.
The essay makes use of correct diction. There are no grammatical mistakes.
The essay could be improved by providing some examples which could have made the piece more practical in its outlook.
Evaluation parameters and score:
| PARAMETERS | DETAILS | POINTS ON 10 | WEIGHTAGE | TOTAL |
| 1) Content | Adequacy of information | 9 | X 2 | 18 |
| 2) Ideas and their development | Elaboration through reasoning, explanation, examples | 9 | X 3 | 27 |
| 3) Perspective | Pros and cons, different aspects, parallel reasoning, suggestions | 9 | X 1 | 9 |
| 4) Structure | Logical idea-flow in Intro-Body-Conclusion form | 9 | X 2 | 18 |
| 5) Control over language | Grammar and spellings, sentence construction and punctuation | 9 | X 2 | 18 |
| OVERALL | 90 |